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Preparing for Marriage

"When young people come to me for advice about courtship and marriage I usually suggest that they ask themselves the following questions:

"What kind of mother or father do I want my children to have?

"What kind of parent am I prepared to be?

"Do I want to associate with someone because of his or her popularity only, or do I look deeper for spiritual and moral qualities?

"Am I analyzing our similarities and differences in background, culture, and intellect?

"Am I prepared to adjust to these differences?

"Do I realize that such adjustments need to be made before marriage?

"As I have performed marriage ceremonies for young couples, I have talked with them about their future and the things that will go into building an increase of love for one another and into the establishment of a happy home. There are four specific things, among others, which I always include.

"First, I remind them to keep the covenants which they make as they are married.

"Second, addressing myself to the young man, I tell him to make her happy. If he will do all he can to make her happy, she cannot help but want to reciprocate and do everything she can for his comfort and welfare.

"Third, I stress the importance of clearing up any misunderstandings they may have. I remind them that it does not matter who is right, but what is right. They should never retire at night with any differences between them. As they kneel together in prayer and ask the Lord to bless them and help them overcome their difficulties, the sweet spirit of forgiveness will come into their hearts, and they will forgive one another as they ask the Lord to forgive them.

"Fourth, and very important, I remind them to continue to love one another.

"I tell them too that marriage is not a fifty-fifty proposition. Each must go the extra mile so there is no contention about the halfway mark. They must keep private matters confidential, and I advise them to solve their own problems without interference from family or friends.

"Sometimes young people do not have the patience to wait for material comforts and luxuries which they may not be able to afford. Wanting too much too soon can be a hardship on both husband and wife, and financial burdens brought on by careless management are often a source of contention. It is far more important to build an atmosphere of love and harmony and spirituality in the home than to concentrate on material possessions which can be accumulated in time as financial ability permits.

"Into this happy home and pleasant atmosphere will eventually come the children for which the marriage was consummated, and who will add immeasurably to the joy and fulfillment which God the Father intended when he instructed Adam and Eve to multiply and replenish the earth. When parents understand the purpose of their existence, that they are literally the spiritual offspring of their Father in Heaven and that they have a responsibility to provide mortal bodies for others, then they rejoice in the miracle of birth as they realize they are copartners with God in the creation of each child who comes into that home."